Actually... um... please don't sue me. It's such a blantant rip-off, that I'd almost definitely lose that court battle.
Speaking of court battles (boom, nailed you with a clunky literary segue!), these 10 lists of 10 are themed "UVA Basketball in the 2014 Postseason."
List 1 -- 10 Teams I Think Can Win it All
1 - Florida. Obv. They're everybody's (including Vegas') favorite to win it all right now.
2 - Arizona. Probably the best defense in the country, and scoring guards who can deliver the goods.
3 - Wichita State. Meh. Gotta give them the benefit of the doubt, especially given last year's Final Four run.
4 - Michigan State. Never bet against Izzo in the NCAAT.
5 - Wisconsin. If I think we can do it (spoiler alert: I think we can), then I have to say I think Wisky could do it.
6 - Louisville. They are red hot right now. I'm not sure how much that matters, but there it is.
7 - Iowa State. The Cyclones are my darkhorse. Matchup nightmares, 1 thru 5. Melvin Ejim can power this team way further in the Big Dance than you think.
8 - Duke. Begrudgingly.
9 - Syracuse. They've been slumping, but a little rest right now could get them rolling again once the Tourney starts.
10 - Virginia. Damn right.
List 2 -- 10 Teams I'd Love to See UVA Play in the Tournament
1 - Kansas. That's right. With Joel Embiid out (or rusty and not at 100% once he returns), this team is infinitely beatable. I'd love to get a 3-seed with them positioned as the 2-seed opposite us, for a potential Sweet Sixteen matchup. We'll win that game.
2 - Wichita State. Fuck the mid-majors. I'd really like to test the Shockers in a potential Elite Eight matchup. I think we can beat these guys. And if not, hey, we lost to a damn good team!
3 - VCU. God damn, I want that re-match. And I relish the chance to send these assholes packing, to shut Shaka up about who's the best program in the state, once and for all. Fuck VCU.
4 - San Diego State. Good defensive team? Son, we would rip your heart out and shove it down your fucking throat. Please oh please give us a 3 with them the 6, or give us a 4 with them the 5. We will stomp these bastards out.
5 - Villanova. They've had a great season, but I really don't know how good they are. Creighton bombed the shit out of them. Twice. If we do end up with a 3-seed, I'd rather see Villanova as the 1-seed in the Elite Eight than any of the other three possibilities (Florida, Arizona, Wichita).
6 - Michigan. Honestly? I think we'd beat the fuck out of these guys. It's exactly the kind of team we match up really well against.
7 - Oklahoma. They had the quietest pretty good season in the history of pretty good seasons. They're sneaking around in the shadows, hoping nobody notices them. I think we'd drop an atomic bomb on their heads.
8 - UCLA. I don't buy the Pac-12, and I especially don't buy UCLA.
9 - Ohio State. I just want a piece.
10 - Texas. We are their nightmare matchup.
List 3 -- 10 Teams I Hope UVA is Able to Avoid in the Tournament
1 - VCU. As much as I relish the chance to knock these fuckers out of the Dance, I'm scared shitless about them doing that to us. I'd be on pins and needles, needing a defibrillator on standby, if we played the Rams in the Tournament.
2 - Memphis. Those guards are numerous, and all good as shit, and all thrive on the dribble-drive. We thought Seth Allen and Dez Wells were rough? Joe Jackson, Michael Dixon, Geron Johnson, and Chris Crawford are otherworldly as slasher-style scorers. This might be Virginia's nightmare matchup in the entire Tournament field... and while we're on a 3-seed trajectory, Memphis is on a 6-seed trajectory. Pray we don't see the Tigers in the 2nd round.
3 - Creighton. They could just shoot over the top of our defense and bomb us into submission... just like they did to Villanova. Twice.
4 - Cincinnati. There aren't many teams that I think could out-tough Virginia in the Tournament, but Cincy is one of those teams. (Wichita and Arizona might be the only others.)
5 - Kentucky. NBA-level talent is NBA-level talent, even if the pieces and parts don't fit together properly. UVA simply cannot match their talent level.
6 - Iowa State. Like I said, I think the Cyclones are a team of destiny. Melvin Ejim, DeAndre Kane, Georges Niang... these guys are sick-nasty, and pose matchup problems galore.
7 - Saint Louis. This team is good, man. Really good. I think we can beat them, but I'd rather not risk the indignity of losing to a mid-major in the Big Dance.
8 - Florida. I don't think we can beat them.
9 - Iowa. I still have vivid memories of them picking us apart on our home floor in last year's NIT quarterfinals.
10 - UConn. Too much stellar guard play for me to feel comfortable facing them.
List 4 --
1 - Wichita State. Right? Riiiiiiiight.
2 - VCU. Eat a dick, you're still a fucking mid-major. Scratch that, you'll always be a mid-major. #VCUfootball
3 - Gonzaga. I remember 2001.
4 - Delaware. If we get a 3, and they get the corresponding 14, I'll be terrified. They have shooters and slashers, enough to give us plenty of trouble.
5 - New Mexico. They went belly-up in last year's Tournament, and return all the talent they need to make a meaningful run with that chip on their shoulder this year.
6 - Saint Louis. Shut the fuck up, A-10 fans. Your conference is a mid-major conference. (If you get to play Duquesne, Fordham, and fucking St. Bonaventure twice each season, it's a mid-major conference. Sorry.) But the Billikens have legit Final Four aspirations.
7 - Harvard. A very solid #35 in KenPom, with a blowout win over BC and a close shave against UConn already on their résumé. Plus, they already proven they could make noise in the Tourney by upsetting 3-seeded New Mexico last season.
9 - Ummmm, that's all I've got.
10 - ??? Screw you, mid-majors. You make the Tournament magical, but you're super annoying when I'm about to have a highly-seeded dog in the fight.
List 5 -- 10 Teams I Think Will Outperform Their Seed
1 - Oklahoma State. C'mon. This is too easy. Lunardi has them as a 10-seed right now, and with Marcus Smart playing well, it's really not hard to see them making a Final Four run.
2 - Louisville. Trust me, they'll be one of the toughest outs in the entire Tournament field.
3 - Iowa State. They are my darkhorse, so I'm riding them hard.
4 - Memphis. Guard play (and the Tigers spread the floor with four of them!)
5 - UConn. Guard play.
6 - Cincinnati. Grit means something in the Tournament.
7 - Kentucky. Too much raw talent to not outperform the 7-seed Lunardi has them earning.
8 - Arizona State. Jahii Carson is the kind of point guard who can power a team deep into the Dance.
9 - Michigan State. As a 5-seed? No 1-seed wants to see these guys in the Sweet Sixteen, know that.
10 - Iowa. Dangerous team. Very dangerous team.
List 6 -- 10 Teams I Think Will Fall in Upset Losses
1 - Villanova. Just a feeling, I guess. Jay Wright is a great coach, but he hasn't proven that he can take a team to the Final Four.
2 - Kansas. No Embiid, no bueno.
3 - Duke. This year's Dook team has "Sweet Sixteen Upset" written all over it.
4 - Michigan. Again, I'm just not buying these guys. Nice late-season run to win the [flawed] Big Ten, but Nik Stauskas and Caris LeVert aren't Trey Burke and Tim Hardaway Jr.
5 - Syracuse. They only go six deep, and are very clearly worn down and out of gas at the end of this season. Welcome to the ACC grind, motherfuckers.
6 - North Carolina. You know it, I know it, we all know it. Roy Williams is a huckster hack, and this year's Tarhole team is flimsy and fragile.
7 - San Diego State. I have two words for you, SDSU: prove it.
8 - Oklahoma. 5/12 upset victim. Book it.
9 - VCU. Maybe just wishful thinking on my part.
10 - UMass. Please, God, give them a power conference bubble team (like Tennessee or Pitt) in the 1st round. I want to see that carnage.
List 7 -- Top 10 Talents in the 2014 NCAA Tournament
1 - Jabari Parker, Duke
2 - Andrew Wiggins, Kansas
3 - Julius Randle, Kentucky
4 - Marcus Smart, Oklahoma State
5 - Gary Harris, Michigan State
6 - Doug McDermott, Creighton
7 - Zach LaVine, UCLA
8 - Montrezl Harrell, Louisville
9 - Terran Petteway, Nebraska
10 - C.J. Fair, Syracuse
List 8 -- The Next 10 Talents in the 2014 NCAA Tournament
1 - Cleanthony Early, Wichita State
2 - Nick Johnson, Arizona
3 - Shabazz Napier, UConn
4 - Cory Jefferson, Baylor
5 - Melvin Ejim, Iowa State
6 - Chris Walker, Florida
7 - Xavier Thames, San Diego State
8 - Jahii Carson, Arizona State
9 - Russ Smith, Louisville
10 - Adreian Payne, Michigan State
List 9 -- Other Awesome Players in the 2014 NCAA Tournament
1 - Joel Embiid, Kansas (if he plays)
2 - Nik Stauskas, Michigan
3 - Kendall Williams, New Mexico
4 - Joe Jackson, Memphis
5 - Rodney Hood, Duke
6 - Sean Kilpatrick, Cincinnati
7 - Cameron Bairstow, New Mexico
8 - DeAndre Kane, Iowa State
9 - Malcolm Brogdon, Virginia
10 - Aaron Gordon, Arizona
1 - Michael Frazier, Florida
2 - Doug McDermott, Creighton
3 - Ethan Wragge, Creighton
4 - Phil Forte, Oklahoma State
5 - Sean Kilpatrick, Cincinnati
6 - James Bell, Villanova
7 - Gary Harris, Michigan State
8 - Rodney Hood, Duke
9 - Nik Stauskas, Michigan
10 - Joe Harris, Virginia
BONUS! List 11 -- 10 Reasons Virginia Could be Headed to the Final Four
1 - Joe Harris, going absolutely supernova in his last few games in the orange and blue. (I'm not hoping, I'm expecting.)
2 - London Perrantes, suddenly willing to shoot, and knocking down treys at a very pleasing clip.
3 - Defense. As in, the best in the country. Offense comes and goes, but D is constant. It travels. It wins championships (or so they say).
4 - Anthony Gill's late-season boom.
5 - Rebounding. Led by Akil Mitchell and bolstered by the positioning the Pack-Line puts us in, we are a very good rebounding team. One of the best in the country.
6 - The Justin Anderson x-factor coming off the bench.
7 - The chance that Mike Tobey re-discovers his scoring ability. He's a matchup nightmare for opponents, when he's on.
8 - Malcolm Brogdon, a total Swiss Army Knife of a player, one of the most well-rounded talents in this Tournament.
9 - Depth. We go a legit 9-deep, and that's a really big deal in the postseason grind.
10 - ACC Coach of the Year Tony Bennett (and his masterful halftime adjustments).