Wahooze Pix -- Week Three

Scores from week 2:
Charlie -- 9 points
Mike -- 9 points
Kendall -- 7 points
Pierce -- 6 points

Season Total:
Mike -- 22 points
Guest Pickers -- 19 points
Kendall -- 17 points
Pierce -- 16 points

Uncle Guido is starting to open up a little bit of a lead... meanwhile, Pierce and I are lagging behind the Celebrity Guests!  Not good.  Time to go into reputation damage control.  Here comes a week of perfect picks from yours truly.

Our guest picker this week is friend and former bus driver, T.J. Bateman.  Teej is getting hitched this weekend, so treat his inclusion into this process as Wahooze's wedding gift.  T.J. -- good luck, Godspeed, and may the heavens have mercy on your soul.

Yeah, lean back you pimp.

Allllllllllrighty.  To the business.

3 Points: Virginia @ North Carolina (-10.5)
Picking the Hoos: Mike & Kendall
Picking the Holes: Pierce & T.J.
Mike Sez: Brynn Renner, the cocky MFer that he is, tries to pick on Nicholson for at least one pick. Coples v. Aboushi should be epic.
Pierce Sez: Head over heart in this one.
T.J. Sez: The ease with which Indiana picked apart UVA's defense late in the game tells me UNC's not going to have much trouble putting up big points early and often.  It brings me no joy to say this (honestly), but I think UVA's in for another disappointing run in with the Heels.
Kendall Sez: Carolina sucks.  But they held Rutgers to 2 yards rushing, so we'll need to be able to pass the ball and score in creative ways in order to hang.  I think this game will be Mike Rocco's coming out party.  Not sure if we'll win, but we'll keep it closer than 10.

West Virginia @ Maryland (-1.5)
Picking the 'Eers: T.J.
Picking the Twerps: Mike, Kendall, Pierce
Mike Sez: As a teaser I will also take the over on the points. This should be a barn burner.
Pierce Sez: Either of these schools have fans that could start fires throughout the stadium, let's hope they catch.
T.J. Sez: F Maryland.  F everything about it.
Kendall Sez: Danny O'Brien is too good.  But yeah, if a galactic wormhole opened up and sucked both teams down in oblivion, I'd go outside and burn my couch in celebration.  (At least then I'd get to stop hearing Mike shrill about the merits of West Virginia and why they deserve inclusion in an expanded ACC.)

Auburn @ Clemson (-3.5)
WAR EAGLE: Mike, Pierce, T.J.
Clem's Son: Kendall
Mike Sez: Can the defending champs have a chip on their shoulders?  I guess so.
Pierce Sez: Could be high scoring, but I think AU rolls.
T.J. Sez: Auburn just beat Mississippi State.  Clemson just beat Wofford.  Some Ws are more equal than others.  Auburn wins handily.
Kendall Sez: Gut feeling on this one.  Clemson came damn close to beating Auburn last year, in Jordan-Hare.  Utah State already showed us that this year's Auburn team is not last year's Auburn team.  Clemson can win this game.  I believe.

Kansas @ Georgia Tech (-15)
Rock, Chalk, Jayhawk: T.J.
Picking the Ramblin' Wreck: Mike, Kendall, Pierce
Pierce Sez: These douchebags have been running up the score in each game so far.
T.J. Sez: Georgia Tech will win, but not by the 15 point spread.
Kendall Sez: Tevin Washington is slowly making a believer out of me.

Duke @ Boston College (-7.5)
Picking Dook: Kendall & Pierce
Picking BC: Mike & T.J.
Mike Sez: I would rather eat a car battery than watch this crap.
Pierce Sez: BC is playing so bad - they could lose this flat out.
T.J. Sez: Duke may be good at recruiting top-level (and offensively ugly) talent to play basketball, but their football team will never be any good.  to borrow a phrase from Pierce, "what is this oddly-shaped ball and why can't I dribble it?"
Kendall Sez: I think everyone who watches this entire game from start to finish is going to turn to stone.  It's like staring into Medusa's eyes.  I think even Sean Renfree's mom has something better to do this Saturday.  Shopping or a perm or some such shit.

Arkansas State @ Virginia Tech (-26)
Picking the Red Wolves: T.J.!
Picking Cousin Eddie: Mike, Kendall, Pierce
Mike Sez: My Red Wolves won this game in NCAA 12.  These Red Wolves will not.
Pierce Sez: Cupcake central.
T.J. Sez: VT needs a win after its embarrassingly close game against East Carolina and it will get one here.  However, they're not going to beat the spread.  Arkansas State [and the points] in this one.
Kendall Sez: More lame-ass scheduling for the Hokies.  You want to be a nationally-relevant program?  PLAY SOMEBODY.  Bunch of candyasses.

South Alabama @ NC State (line OFF, pick the winner)
Picking the Jaguars: nobody
Picking the Woofpack: EVERYBODY!
Kendall Sez: Lame.

Gardner-Webb @ Wake Forest (line OFF, pick the winner)
Picking GWU: nobody
Picking WFU: EVERYBODY!
Kendall Sez: Lame, Part II.

Ohio State (-1) @ Miami
Picking the Free Tattoos: Kendall, Pierce, T.J.
Picking the Ponzi Scheme: Mike
Mike Sez: Go ahead and call me a homer.
Pierce Sez: Talent beats coaching in this one.
T.J. Sez: Ohio State.  This isn't a BCS championship game, right?  Okay.  Ohio State.
Kendall Sez: Two things...  Mike, you're a homer.  Pierce, I think you give Al Golden a little bit too much unearned credit as some kind of tour de force coaching talent.  It's one thing beating Eastern Michigan in the MAC, and another animal altogether trying to beat a team like Ohio State.  Jury has to be out on Golden until he proves his mettle.  Too bad he inherited this shit storm in Coral Gables.



Oklahoma (-3.5) @ Florida State
Boomer Sooner: Kendall, Pierce, T.J.
Free Shoes University: Mike
Mike Sez: This is still Bob Stoops in a big game, right?  I'll try not to laugh.
T.J. Sez: Being nationally ranked means something in the Big 12.  It doesn't mean much in the ACC.
Kendall Sez: I could see this one going either way.  I picked Oklahoma, just because I have a bit more faith in Landry Jones than I do in E.J. Manuel.  But this should be an awesome, awesome game.  Can't wait.  BIG opportunity for Jimbo Fisher to prove himself and his program to be legit.


2 Points Each: STONE COLD LEAP PIPE LOCKS

Mike:
Tennessee (+9) @ Florida
Notre Dame (-5) vs. Michigan State

Pierce:
Wisconsin (-17) @ NIU
Russel Wilson & Co. could be in the national title picture...
Texas (-3.5) @ UCLA

T.J.:
LSU (-3.5) @ Mississippi State
Florida (-9) vs. Tennessee

Kendall:
Tennessee (+9) @ Florida
Road 'dog is probably a sucker bet, but I like the look of this year's Tennessee team.  Go Derek Dooley!
Michigan State (+5) @ Notre Dame
Another road 'dog, but Kirk Cousins is the freaking TRUTH.


AND NOW MORE OF THIS: