September 24 - Southern Mississippi @ Virginia.
The Golden Brett Favres of Southern Mississippi are a good, but not great, team and have been playing at a consistent level for quite a while. In fact, they have posted 17 consecutive winning seasons including last year's 8-5 mark. However, the fans and administration have been looking for the team to take the extra step (and compete for a Conference USA title) for a while now - and this season should give them the opportunity to do so. Record-breaking Quarterback Austin Davis returns to lead a USM team with a potent offense and inconsistent defense. The pieces are in place, but can coach Larry Fedora avoid the late-season championship-killing losses that have plagued the Golden Eagles recently?
A quick tangent: Conference USA is absolutely the worst name for anything in the entirety of the NCAA. They could name the conference "Football Conference" or "Group of Schools" and it would sound better. "Legends and Leaders" is less dumb. Seriously, it sounds like the brand name a Chinese toy company would use for its knock-off NCAA merchandise. Come see JOE AMERICA and the AMERICAN EAGLES play AMERICAN FOOTBALL in AMERICALAND. If I didn't know better, I would think it's a product of post-9/11 pandering to the masses with faux-patriotism. Conference USA and Coors Light are proud to present the AMERICA-FUCK YEAH Championship game featuring the USM Eagles of Awesomeness and the Houston We'll Shove a Boot Up Your Ass's (also sponsored by Chevy and Uncle Sam's kickass hot dogs). /rant
Commissioner Lincoln's got your conference realignment right here.
So how will USM achieve its goal of CONFERENCE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA domination? Defense. The offense is there - these guys will have no issues scoring points. But late last year, the Eagles gave up 50 and 44 pts to UAB and ECU respectively. USM can't afford to gamble on shootout wins for every game, so their weird-looking 4-2-5 stack defense will need to be more consistent.
Pierce's Preseason Prediction: Defeat.
I just don't see it. It would be absolutely wonderful (and poetic justice) to steal a game back from these guys, as the Hoos blew an enormous lead when they last played in Hattiesburg. However, this USM team should be even better. Virginia could benefit from a strong secondary and (hopefully) improved pass rush, but the offense will have to at least match the production of Davis and Co.. Maybe it'll work out, but I'm betting against it.
At least we don't have to live in Hattiesburg, Mississippi
I think "Group of Schools" sounds pretty epic.
ReplyDeleteHilarious, Pierce. Well done. C-USA is so totally lame, I'd probably rather play in the Sun Belt just to avoid the conference name.
ReplyDeleteAs for UVA v. USM, I sadly concur. This is a loss we're going to suffer on our home field, and our clueless fans will hit the panic button about losing to a "Directional Mississippi." But Southern Miss is good.
Ye of little faith! This is Kevin parks' coming out party vs. that stupid defense. The secondary is good enough to hold down the air assault long enough for the offense to ball control them to death. Prepare for db destruction from our oline. Grow up and run a real defense.
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