The Christmas List

I am sitting here at work all alone today with visions of sugar plums and other Christmas nonsense bouncing around in my brain and it got me thinking. As a UVA sports fan what do I want for Christmas. Considering that I asked for a jet ski when I was 6 years old I think this list can get as outrageous as I want, thus I will embrace that. Let’s go!

1.       Stefon Diggs

Please?

I’m sure most of you who read this blog know we love recruiting. I personally love it because it gives you hope. I’ve never had hope as a sports fan with the exception of a few season with the Capitals, and the 2003 Chicago Cubs. So recruiting/the draft/ free agency are really my go to sources of happiness. That being said I have never wanted to land a recruit as badly as I want UVA to land Stefon Diggs. The number 8 player in the country has UVA firmly in his sights. Here are a few bonuses to landing Diggs. First off it shows that Mike London can recruit ANYONE. Landing a player of his caliber shows that UVA has arrived on the national scene and takes away the stigma of “hometown school” to any big time local recruits. This does nothing but help our standing with local monsters that are coming out of Virginia soon like Ryan Burns at Stone Bridge, and Andrew Brown at Indian River. Secondly it blows the Good Counsel pipeline wide open. For as good as football is in the WCAC (DC Metro Private Schools) no one touches that program in terms of constant talent. If Coach London can bag a steady stream of prospects coming out of Olney that would be HUGE for this program. UVA can become a national power just by locking down the big regions they are close too, DC Metro, 757, and Richmond. Yes it’s nice to go get players from other states but this school can win with just those 3 areas. Remember that analogy I made to the Miami program? Well that should be the blueprint. Lock down VA and lock up a title.

2.       A back to the basket big man to replace Mike Scott

Beast. But can he do it alone?

Mike Scott put the team on his back last night to beat Seattle, who I never want to play again. But we need SOMEONE to step up into that role. Mike Tobey is killing it in High School right now so he looks to be the answer at the 5 spot but we need that big time athlete at the 4 to replace Scott. That was supposed to be James Johnson but that looks like a disaster.  A player like Ryan Rosburg would have been perfect but he is gone to Missouri.  Literally anyone we can throw the ball to on the block and be strong and athletic would be great. We have enough wings, get us some muscle. That being said I think the player to watch in this is actually Akil Mitchell. He needs to develop that offensive game a little more but with some polish he could be a poor man’s Mike Scott and a valuable asset to this team next season.

3.       Anthony Barber

Future

Not just a good point guard from 2013. Anthony Barber specifically. Barber plays at Hampton and while he technically isn’t a prototypical type of TB point guard if Coach Bennett is going to succeed he NEEDS to start getting local kids. Barber already has an offer from Tech and could be a giant pain in our ass for the next 4 seasons if he goes there. Go get this kid Tony, it will not only help the program on the floor, but it will help you settle in as UVA’s coach, and shake the stigma that you have no recruiting ties to this area.

4.       A new athletic complex

U-Old

This is pretty far out there so bare with me. We need to tear down UHall. It looks ridiculous and just sucks in general. Our athletic department, our extremely successful athletic department, should not have to be run out of a gym. Tear it down and build a state of the art athletic facility with a nice weight room for EVERYONE and nice new offices. Having great facilities helps every program not just in performance but also in recruiting. Reward those people that have been working hard to make us successful in everything, not just the sports that make the money.

5.       Expand Davenport

This is beating a dead horse so I’m not going to keep harping on it but please for the love of god make those bleachers permanent out there.  You want a big program? Invest in it.

6.       New Fans

IT'S A FOOTBALL GAME

If you read Wahooze this does not apply to you so please don’t be offended. If you are not a student and you wear a tie to football games please just don’t come. You look stupid. I will allow the students to do it because I guess it is a tradition but it is a stupid one. Ties symbolize everything that is wrong with UVA football. It’s not a cocktail party for you to be fashionably late to and leave early to go check your stock futures or whatever rich people do. If you want success on the field the whole attitude at the games and that starts with the fans. Drinking is fun but football is not an excuse to get drunk. If you want football to be special you can’t treat it like every other event affiliated with UVA. This isn’t foxfield or graduation, this is serious. And if you want big time football you need to be their early, and stay till the end. You are supposed to watch the players come in not the other way around.

7.       Get Rid of the Adventures of CavMan

I loathe this thing. How cheesy can you be? A cartoon? That hypes up I’d say about 0% of the crowd. The horse running out is cool, the song they run out to is…serviceable, but that stupid cartoon makes me want to rip my eyes out. Unless Cavman is going to start brutally murdering the other teams mascot I’ve had enough, get it out.

8.       A Better Touchdown Celebration

This will do

We are getting close to what I truly want for Christmas more than anything, and this makes that that much closer. I can’t believe I am agreeing with Mac McDonald on this one but we need something new and unique for when we score. He likes having a hockey horn (which I could get behind) but really anything will work. Maybe a nice cannon? How about some fire? Hell I wouldn’t mind Cavman riding out and beheading an opposing cheerleader and putting their head on a stake. Something that we can identify as ours.  It has to be something associated with Charlottesville or Thomas Jefferson or something for that to work so unless we are going to toast wine or write something I don’t really know what. But I am open to suggestions! Until then I can get down with a hockey horn!

9.       Get Rid of the Band

You don't know what just happened

I have no idea why the marching band thinks they are the shit but there is no student organization I would rather see wiped off the face of the earth than the marching band. These kids act like 7 year olds at summer camp constantly and just embarrass me as a UVA fan. Just as a statement to all band people that might read this blog. You literally do nothing to help the football team. So shut up and blow your damn horn. No one needs to read a shout out to the clarinet section on the jumbotron  (well no one needs to read any of that shit but that’s a whole different post). No one is going to catch on to your stupid little dances you are trying to start, and no one really likes you. You just take up good seats we could be giving to people who pay money for their tickets, like the staff section. We could be a good student buffer, because we have to deal with the students on a daily basis. As a comparison the Notre Dame band has to stand on the sidelines the entire game. Either learn your place or just please go away.

10.   Pay the football staff!

This is the last and most important thing on my list. While I really want the band gone this is the number one thing we need to do. Bill Lazor is going to leave if we don’t pay him. He’s too good, too young, and too smart to stay here without a significant pay raise. Other schools will come calling, and Florida seems to already have. The assistants are what make this program and while we ABSOLUTELY need to pay Mike London you cannot forget about the fantastic staff he has assembled here. We aren’t good enough yet to not be considered a stepping stone for these guys so break out the checkbook!

That’s the list! Let’s make that happen shall we? Merry Christmas Wahooze readers.