August 28, 2014

2014 Haiku Preview

Back by popular demand (has it been a year already?), it's time for Wahooze's most popular annual poetry feature: The Haiku Preview. Rather than the usual 500 word essays breaking down the intricacies of each scheduled opponent, we're going to look ahead at the enemy in 17-syllable chunks. The hopes and dreams of a nation of Wahoo faithful (until 11/14/14) rest on the team's ability to beat most of these foes. Let's see how it will shake out:

vs UCLA 08/30
Wow. Pac-12 again?
Brand name games. 2 win seasons.
 40k. Big loss.

vs UR 09/06
Hi Michael Rocco!
More QB uncertainty?
Sounds familiar. Win.

vs Louisville 09/13
Our newest "rivals"
OK. Your coach is a sleeze.
Though Bridgewater, Loss.

@ BYU 09/20
Tough road test for sure
Maybe a 3% chance
Well, more like 0.

vs Kent State 09/27
The Golden Flashes
Might do us a big favor
Lose? Fire London.

vs Pitt 10/04
We own their o-line
Eli Harold sack party
Match last year's wins here!

@ Duke 10/18
Ugh. The Blue Devils
Have we beat them recently?
Maybe now's the time

vs UNC 10/25
They don't go to class
They haze like an 80's frat
They'll win this game, though

@ GT 11/01
We might play well here
But the scheme seems to beat us
...let's guess: Hoos close win!

@ FSU 11/08
This could get ugly
Let's avoid the injuries
A safe big time loss

vs Miami 11/22
Al Golden = hot seat
Maybe he can coach here next
Don't want that. We lose.

@ VT 11/28
Not sold on VT
Though I don't think we're better
Not this year. Again.

Well, there you have it. The poetry gods say 4-8 with a mid-season coach firing! Sounds intriguing...

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