August 30, 2013

2013 Season Preview Haikus

Back by popular demand, Wahooze is here to provide another year's worth of peaceful poetic predictions:

Playing college ball
When you're twenty-eight years old
Is for creepy dudes

(Hoos 30 Cougars, which is a fitting name for older men preying on the young, 28)

Flashy uniforms
Even flashier offense
Hoos can't keep it close

(Duckies 45, Hoos 13)

No one hazes kids
Quite like our military
Won't help with football

(Hoos 33, Keydets 0)

ACC Newbies
Are pretty decent on D
First Hoos road game? L.

(Panthers 24, Hoos 17)

Decent mid-major
Make or break game for the year
In terms of bowl game

(Hoos 30, Cardinals 28)

ACC last year
Good riddance, you twerp cowards
Should lose every game

(Hoos 23, Turtles 17)

Should take a step back
If we are a decent team
We'll win this easy

(Hoos 28, Blue Devils 20)

Vad Lee is quite good
No more Al Groh to hurt them
To me? Coastal Champs

(Nerds 35, Hoos 24)

Might run the table
More likely pull a "Clemson"
Could overlook us

(Tigers 31, Hoos 17)

Don't play much defense
Will Watford take advantage?
Our press D should help

(Hoos 28, Heels 27)

Very amusing
That we seem to own this team
Might work out for us?

(Canes 31, Hoos 21)

Will this be the year?
Not getting my hopes up yet
Watford could help that

(Hokies 20, Hoos 14)


  1. These haikus are great
    BYU one is my fav
    Excellent work Pierce

  2. I expected more only because I demand at least one polygamy reference when BYU is involved.

  3. Provo is pretty. Enjoy the flight home, holy underwearers.

  4. Provo is pretty. Enjoy the flight home, holy underwearers.