February 27, 2014
Should Kendall Buy Football Tickets?
We just got our tax return.
Typically, I'd set aside a chunk of that money to renew our season tickets for football, when they go on sale... whenever they go on sale.
I get faculty/staff tickets, which had dipped down to $99 each (before fees), but rebounded up to $150 or whatever ahead of the season that featured eight home games, including Oregon and Virginia Tech. After going 2-10 in 2013, I'm sure 2014 tickets (featuring precisely zero "sexy" games unless you have some sick fetish for Kent State or Pitt) will tumble back down under the $100 threshold. [Hell, they need to be giving the fuckers away, along with free warm lotion handjobs and a basket of Hardees chicken tenders.]
Anyway, the price of the tickets isn't the issue. I can swing $300-400 for family entertainment in the fall.
What I don't know if I can swing is expending the time and effort and energy necessary to be a season ticket holder in 2014, when return on investment is likely to be yet another season of the fans having their teeth kicked down their throats by an incompetent football team.
So I'm weighing the pros and cons of buying season tickets for this season. And I'm enlisting YOUR help. Vote in the poll, submit anonymous feedback, or post in the comments section and tell me what you think I should do!
Here are the arguments for and against buying tickets for the 2014 season of Virginia Football...
The argument FOR buying the tickets
-- Tailgating is fun. And not to sound like an ego-maniac or anything, but I fear if I bailed out on the tickets and tailgating, our tailgating group would fall completely apart. I don't think it's a stretch to say that I'm the linchpin. (But should saving the tailgate be enough motivation to buy the tickets and subject myself to another season of torture?)
-- I want to support the University I love, and the football program I care about as much as a member of my own family.
-- Maybe somehow, someway, we'll be good in 2014. I don't want to miss the turnaround, if it happens.
-- I want my kids to love Virginia Football, and that won't happen if we aren't attending the games.
-- I love, LOVE, our current seats, and I don't want to lose them. If I don't renew this year, and then get tickets in 2015, we won't have these same seats.
-- It's a simple equation. I love college football.
-- If I don't get tickets, I think I might feel bad and then wish I had gotten them. I don't want to have regret. And if I do have regret, I'd rather regret buying the tickets than not buying the tickets.
-- I want to go to the games with big-ass "HIRE LEMBO" signs. Maybe even a banner.
-- I feel like I'll be stripped of membership as a card-carrying Virginia Football die-hard if I ditch out on season tickets.
-- C'mon man, these tickets are really cheap! I have the freedom to skip games if I want to.
-- I want to see Quin Blanding, Andrew Brown, and a healthy Smoke Mizzell, live and in person.
-- A good chance to read a book?
The argument AGAINST buying the tickets
-- I hate the message that renewing these tickets would send, that we're okay with the sub-mediocrity and downright incompetence we're seeing on the field. The only real statement I can make is with my checkbook, and I'm not too keen on stroking a check that eventually goes to support the ridiculous $2+ million per year contract our asshat administration handed to our clown car of a head coach.
-- I live in Richmond now. An hour drive in each direction may not sound like much, but I can tell you that after making that trip five days a week for work, it fucking sucks to do it on football game Saturdays.
-- Add to the trip the process of loading and unloading the car, the hangovers, dealing with the grease-dripping grill and the wet leftover beer from the cooler, etc. I've been wrangling this shit for over a decade, and I'm tired of it.
-- Seven gorgeous fall Saturdays, suddenly free to do things that don't cause me intense personal rage and/or crippling depression.
-- Collecting money from the group, worrying about handing out tickets, selling tickets when we have extras, dealing with scalpers, all that shit. Wouldn't miss any of it.
-- It's Virginia Football. We fucking suck. We can get tickets on StubHub for two or three bucks. Seriously.
-- I love our seats, but they're right next to the opposing fans' section. That's tough when you're absorbing lopsided loss after lopsided loss.
-- I think about gearing up to head to the game against UCLA on August 30th, and I'm already dreading it.
-- Speaking of August 30th, I fucking hate football games in the dead heat of summer. Five of our eight home games this season happen on or before October 4th, so it's going to be hot. I hate that shit. Sweaty, nasty taint, fucking sun blasting me in the eyes, chafed grundle, soggy nifkin, sunburn, uncomfortable Virginia humidity. Fuck it. Hate that shit.
-- If I don't buy season tickets, I could potentially reallocate those funds into purchasing NFL RedZone, making my Sundays delightful.
-- It's frankly a shitty home schedule. UCLA, Richmond, Louisville, Kent State, Pitt, UNC, Miami. The only one that moves the needle for me on a fundamental level is UNC. If we had a decent team that might win the games, I'd love to see the UCLA, L'Ville, and Miami games, but... Well, we already know how those are going to go, don't we?
-- The administration needs to see an empty stadium in order to get it through their thick skulls: we will not accept 2-10. Not under any circumstances.
So what do you think? Should I buy the tickets or not? Vote in the poll, submit anonymous feedback, or post in the comments section and tell me what you think I should do!
Posted by Kendall