November 2, 2015


This is how I'll always remember him...

Okay, so by now you've heard that news that Frank Beamer is retiring at the end of the season.  I'm hearing that his health may be bad... and that sucks.  If it's true, I wish him a speedy recovery and a healthy retirement.  Sincerely.

Now, moving on to the half-joking, petty, rivalry-based stuff.

1) I'm glad he's gone.  Virginia Tech will make a good hire to replace him, no doubt.  (Hearing that Rich Rodriguez is the overwhelming leader in the clubhouse, and it makes sense on a lot of levels.  RichRod will do a nice job at Tech.)  But make no mistake --- Beamer is going to cast a long, dark shadow over that program, for at least the next decade.  To completely fill his shoes and make that delusional fanbase forget about Frank, all you have to do is TAKE VIRGINIA TECH TO THE FREAKING NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME.  Good luck with that.

Yep, he's smug and shitty enough for VT.

2) Please never let me hear anyone tell me "derp, you've gotta respect what Beamer has done at Virginia Tech!"  I am envious of the winning, sure.  But I don't necessarily respect the way he did it.  He snacked on an awful lot of cupcake teams (including Virginia from 2004-2015), and did an awful lot of twisting and folding the moral fabric in order to get kids in school and keep them football-eligible.  He also did a whole lot of orchestrating/enabling swift and quiet exits for the kids who were not contributing on the field.  I stop short of calling Frank Beamer a 'slimeball' or a 'scumbag,' because things never quite got to Rick Pitino levels at Tech, VT was never UNC, but yeah... I'm not going to say I respect what Frank Beamer did at Virginia Tech.  I dunno, maybe I'm a sore loser and maybe these are sour grapes, but I'm entitled to that stuff if that's what I want.  I'm not just going to fall in line with all of the rah-rah Beamer shit we're about to be inundated with for the next month-plus.  Speaking of...

3) I hope UVA doesn't bend over backward to do a big, showy send-off on November 28.  Just treat it like any other UVA/VT game, and then at the end slap a quick "ENJOY YOUR RETIREMENT, COACH BEAMER!" up on HooVision.  As for that game...

4) I think Hoos Inc on the Wahoos247 forum "The Grounds" put it very eloquently.
Let's whoop dat ass. The thought of playing them with their bowl eligibility on the line and ending their season and the bowl his final his final's so anti-storybook it gives me a schadenfreude boner hard enough to frack for oil in the Bakken.

I ain't even scared about improving London's job security. I'm selling out for Hokie hatred. Let's beat these sons of bitches.

Amen, brother.  Amen and Hallelujah.

This is why Hoos Inc is one of my
absolute favorite posters on The Grounds.

5) I've fielded some consernation from Hoofans over the VT job being open and how that adversely affects UVA's potential coaching search.  To that, I say: R-E-L-A-X.  It's going to be two different candidate pools, for the most part.  And before you go off the deep end thinking the Tech job is so much better than the UVA job, you need to consider:
  • That long shadow cast by Frank Beamer
  • Our athletic department is much better, top to bottom
  • We reside in much more fertile recruiting territory
  • UVA is the superior school
  • We have realistic fans
  • Our new coach will face much lower (read: reasonable) expectations
  • Charlottesville isn't a dumpy anonymous little cow town
  • Their fans are no better than ours, just check their home attendance the last few seasons (meanwhile, our fans prove they come out to support a winner just like Tech fans have -- see also: Virginia basketball and Virginia baseball)
  • Et cetera

Yes, it appears that the VT administration is more dedicated to football.  But that's not the end-all, be-all, folks.  I just hate that so many Hoofans view VT as big-time college football.  Irritates the fuck out of me.

Bottom line for me: If I were a college football head coach and were offered both jobs, I know which one I'd pick. 

6) What the heck happens with Bud Foster?  If he's not the next head coach, he can't/won't stay at Tech, right?  He's gotta have too much pride for that, right?  Maybe he retires?  (He'll be 57 when the 2016 season kicks off.)  My guess is that he'll get at least one strong $1+mil/season offer to go coordinate a southern P5 school's defense, and he'll take it.  If not, maybe he resurfaces at a FCS or D-II / D-III school.  Bud Foster to South Carolina to be the Cocks' DC, you heard it here first.

7) I am going ahead and considering it to be a fact that Mike London will be Virginia Tech's next defensive line coach, and he'll do it for $0.99 per season (to force UVA to foot the entire bill on his buyout).  London sucks ass as a head coach, but he's a damn good d-line coach and a fine recruiter... I have zero doubt that he'll end up at Tech just to torture us.

Anyway, Frank Beamer's gone at the end of the season.  Doff of the cap for a job well done at Virginia Tech.  Godspeed, Coach.  You won't be missed, but you'll also not be forgotten.


  1. For some reason I thought you were going to go soft. But of course you didn't. My bad. Seriously. This is perfect.

  2. Nice work Kendall! Keep the ooze comin. Best damn blog in the UVa sports blogosphere

    1. disagree. this blog sucks.

    2. Thanks Eli! Miss you, buddy!

      For the record, I think my Anonymous commentators pretty much suck.

    3. Doesn't EVERY anonymous commentator pretty much suck?

  3. I think FSU, Clemson and Miami have to be most heavily emphasized as being down from 2004-2011, with the last year being when Clemson dominated Tech twice, along with Tech's last year in a BCS bowl.

    Don't think Beamer accomplishes half of what he has, if like Welsh, he goes against the FSU dynasty of the 90's.

  4. great article.... I don't care what happens at Tech ... I just want London gone after the end of this season, if not before !!!!

  5. I do not view vt as a top notch football program. Sorry until they win the national championship they are just another want to be. UVa atleast has a National Championship in one of the big three US sports. Does bass fishing count as a big sport?

  6. Who cares we want Mike London fired beat that asshole. Beat the chokies!

  7. Well there we go between them and unc the NCAA should get there head out of there ass!