Bowling & Burgers, 5th Frame: The Running Backs

The RBs tweet for Nathan:

We're loaded at running back. PJ is the swiss army knife, KP for deceptive power, Richardson oozes talent, Shepherd in support. Fullback...?

The name for our new bowling team has been successfully brainstormed.  It is "Bowlkkake."  Anyway, on to the backs...

Strikes

• I describe him as a "swiss army knife" kind of back, but you already know Perry Jones can do it all.  915 rushing yards and 5 touchdowns, 506 receiving yards and 3 touchdowns.  If anything, I'd like to see him get into the end zone a bit more often, but that's picking nits (and invading KP's role.)  At 5-8, 185, he's diminutive, and I don't know if he has the pure speed to make it in the NFL at that size, but as a college back he's damn near perfection.  I'm as excited to see his senior season as I have been for any runner since Thomas Jones.  If Superman can crack the 1K barrier this season, he'll finish up #8 in the school's rushing record book, ahead of guys like Jim Bakhtiar, Alvin Pearman, and Barry Word and hot on the heels of Frank Quayle and Wali Lundy.
• Meanwhile, I continue to be crazily high on Kevin Parks.  In his redshirt freshman season, the guy was able to rack up 709 rushing yards and 9 touchdowns with a mesmerizing blend of speed, burst, and unexpected power.  He was wildly productive in high school (10,895 yards and 158 touchdowns, that's over TEN THOUSAND yards and ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY FREAKING EIGHT touchdowns -- I never, ever, ever get tired of bringing that up), and is proving to be wildly productive in college, despite the lack of eye-popping measurables of any particular variety.  I just love this kid and am unbelievably delighted to have the chance to watch him play for UVA for another three seasons.
• KP is amazing, but he'll be facing a career-long battle for carries against uber-talent Clifton Richardson.  Unlike either PJ or KP, C-Rich brings a little bit of size (6-0, 215) to the table, and he best passes the eyeball test as a bellcow type of running back.  I expect to see him settle into a change-of-pace role this season, with a lion's share of the work in real power situations.  But Richardson isn't just a power back, he's explosive in the open field and really good at weaving through traffic.  The fact that he's our #3 running back is a real testament to the ability of this group.
• The tragedy here is that a talented young runner like Khalek Shepherd has to toil as the #4 running back and will likely struggle to see many touches at all, beyond his special teams work.  This is the kid that looked like a bonafide star in the spring game, in ripping off a 75-yard sideline scamper.  Shepherd has good straight-line speed, good hands, and though he lacks a workhorse frame at 5-8, 185, he runs with workhorse skills.  If any of the three guys ahead of him in the pecking order go down, I am not worried at all about Shepherd taking on an increased role in the offense.  I think on a lesser team he'd be a legit #1 tailback who could be extremely productive.  It's a great luxury to have him waiting in the wings, but a total shame he probably won't get much work to show what he can do.

Gutters

• The fullback position is minimalized in Lazor's offense, but it's still kind of a mess personnel-wise.  We have a high-slung ex-tight end in Zach Swanson, a converted defensive back / linebacker 'tweener in LoVante' Battle, and a walk-on in Billy Skrobacz.  I have no idea which of the three will bubble to the surface this season, but Max Milien left behind 22 catches, 264 yards, and 2 touchdowns as a dumpoff receiving option in the flat.
• Swanson seems to be a good fit as the Milien-style receiving option, being a former tight end and all. But at 6-6, 230, I have a hard time seeing the guy lay much of a devastating lead block.  He's more power forward than fullback.
• Meanwhile, I am excited to see what Battle can do.  He plays with violence... and I like that.  But can he block?  Can he catch?  How is he with the ball in his hands?
• The best fullback on the roster might be a guy who's not even listed at the position yet.  Incoming freshman Trent Corney might end up at fullback (or linebacker or tight end or defensive end), and he offers an intoxicating size/speed specimen.

Projected Depth Chart
RB) #33 Perry Jones (Sr.), #25 Kevin Parks (So.), #10 Clifton Richardson (So.), #23 Khalek Shepherd (So.)
FB) #49 Zachary Swanson (So.), #4 LoVante' Battle (Sr.), #37 Billy Skrobacz (Jr.)


Burgers...

Pierce: The running backs are a the top burger in town. Cooked perfectly, high quality ingredients, loaded with toppings, yet perfectly balanced. Every part is complementary to the others, resulting in a 5-star culmination of taste and texture. Shazam.

Mike: The running backs are the Squeeze Inn burger. Delicious to the point of excess. Think of a great cheeseburger with awesome cheese, and adding even more cheese to the point where it becomes this:

SO MUCH GOOEY DELICIOUS CHEESE. We have an embarrassment of riches at running back. AND our top three guys would probably start at Tech this year. AND Shepherd is no slouch as a 4th string guy. It's too much. Richardson has the size and speed to be a feature back in this offense, and he is running 3rd. That is insane to think about.

Kendall: This year's running back position is like the burger they sell at a gourmet steakhouse. Big, thick, meaty, delicious.  Carmelized onions, bacon, and plenty of steak sauce for zip.  18 bucks, and worth every freaking penny.


Score for the Frame:
This one's easy.  (And frankly, with a middling score so far, we needed it.)  Despite prototypical grind-it-out size in our backs and not a whole lot of proven substance at fullback, this roll is confident and on target -- powerful, fast, and decisive.  The ball rumbles down the lane, the pins crash, heads turn, and you feel the sparkly tingle of satisfaction in the base of your ballsack.  Of course, I have just described a STRIKE.

Kaboom.

Score Thru 5 Frames: 60